“They have 12 children.”
“How do people have so many kids?”, was my shocked reply.
Twelve. I think I felt my head spin. How do people do that?
Don’t they go crazy?
Is their house clean?
Do the husband and wife get any time together?
Are the children doing ok?
How do you spend time with each of your children?
Wouldn’t you be cooking and cleaning all the time?
What about the mom? How does she survive without getting any time to herself?
These questions went round and round in my head and eventually decided to rest on a back shelf somewhere in my mind.
Back then, I had only one child and another on the way. Now I have 4. People ask me how I manage, just as I wanted to ask others.
The answer is, I don’t really know how but I do. Once that new baby no. 2, 3 or 4 comes, there’s no way out. You have to live through it. Can’t really drop the kids and run can you?
It’s sort of like charging through a field of thorns with your eyes closed. There’s a battle to win and you’ve got an adrenaline rush so you’re numb to the scratches you get along the way. Once you’re out the other end and someone asks you how you did it, you blink and say, “I don’t know”. Oh and the scratches happen to heal pretty fast and then you suffer parental amnesia!
The one thing that did help me was thinking outside the box. Never telling myself I couldn’t do it. I could do it, I just had to find a way. I had to grit my teeth and walk right through. I’ve done some crazy things over the years and my husband and I enjoyed the madness, not because we’re those sort of people, but because we wanted to savour the joys of life, there’s too much sorrow out there to fret over small imperfections.
When you have only one child you tend to indulge in the tantrums more.With two you just don’t have the time. The tantrum gets ignored, and the toddler learns it won’t work, so life goes on!
When the baby cries for no reason, you decide not to pick her up and she starts sucking her thumb and pacifies herself.
You potty train your first early and it drives you crazy. You think, whatever and train the next two closer to the age of 3. Who cares? All the mommy critics? I’m a thin skinned girl but my relationship with my kids is more important.
When your first wont eat, you literally cry and try one healthy meal after another. When there are two or three picky eaters, you hand them some bread and eat yourself. They’ll eventually ask for whats on your plate. Just make sure your own food isn’t spicy or something.
More questions? Please feel free to ask and I’ll answer them insha Allah. Right now, I have to go, my baby is asleep in my lap while I type and my other kids want to hang out with mama at breakfast time!