A review of The White Elephant by Aisha Adams.
Getting married was one of the most profound experiences in my life. Coming from a background because of which I felt determined not to “settle”, I was a bit shaken, when I began reading this book.
The title aptly describes how the contents of the book are dealt with; young women rashly jumping into or being forced into unhappy marriages, being left swamped by marital discord and their option of finding a new life. No one wants to deal with these issues that exist in muslim society, often encouraging women to stay oppressed, depressed and suppressed, losing sight of how the foundation of society itself is on a healthy family unit.
Aisha Adams relates her journey through an unhappy marriage, and uses her experiences to illustrate her message throughout the book. She starts out by cautioning people searching for a spouse, particularly young women, asking them to do their research before committing to anyone.
The book goes on to encourage giving things your best shot.It repeatedly emphasising on reading the red flags, if there are any. Most importantly the writer speaks of the value of these differences to the spouses and though by no means encourages people to give them more weight than necessary, she stresses that the marriage should be dissolved if these differences are unreconcilable.
The three sections of the book discuss marriage all the way from proposal, through possible discord and ultimately how to deal with divorce.
I would recommend it as a guide for those lost in troubled marriages or those looking to get married, the former to explore the option of letting go and the latter, so they may not rush into things.
I would also recommend it as a book for those who have already been through divorce, they might find a way to reconcile with their new lives as well as find validation and encouragement for their choice.
The book is both touching and sad and I would call it a light memoir full of advice for anyone who might read it. It ends with real life interviews of other sisters who have been through challenging marital experiences.
A percentage of the funds realised from the sale of this book will be used to support widows, divorcees.
You can find a copy of the book here.